step into His boat...

Coming back from cell group didn't always give you the roller-coaster-on-top-of-the-world feeling. Those lonely strolls at night from bus-stop towards my room can surely confirm this. Most of the time, I caught myself ....thinking...... thinking hard. It is indeed one of my fav. way of killing time.

Often I wonder whether things are really in order. For one thing, most of the time, i heard some points from a sermon which will only lead me to using them as reasons and valid premises for arguments ready to question my leader on things she preached especially upon dealing with issues in my life. Of coz i never did. Simply because most of the time, it is easier to just be quiet and wait...and simply forget. But then again, the cycle repeats itself.

That night, my leader shared about God's presence. It was indeed not a new topic to me. After all as Christians we all desire His presence in our lives.

Frankly speaking, I couldn't remember much of what happened during the meeting. All i could recall was that as I crept to my bed that night, I asked one thing from God and that is for Him to enlarge my capacity...my territory. This isn't the first time I asked, mind you. But then, there's a reason behind me asking Him that night. He got me thinking about serving in His house.

I was pondering about next semester of where to stay and if I dont have the chance to stay in Hall, i gotta stay outside. That means i have to spend more money every month. I realized though, despite all this, I dont have to struggle time-wise; meaning i dont have to commit to CCA. Call me crazy or i-will-never-understand-you-kind of person, but in spite of all the hustle brought by CCA, i actually find it kinda a waste not to be able to participate. To me (though nobody acknowledges) is a training ground for future endeavour. I am not a typical Singaporean who can do multiple things at one time and giving 100% of efforts at the same time. I have never in life is faced with demand of doing more than perhaps 2 things in life: study and church ok..let's make it three: shopping. Hence, when this season of life comes, i am overwhelmed.

My commitment to church, it appears to drop. I have no clue of whatsoever a standard... but that night...

***oh no...i wrote it like few months back and now have completely no clue on what's that very important thing that happened..man...shud have finished it ...lemme post this as a reminder next time tat i should never procrastinate!! Gosh!**